Have you ever watched people “gossiping”? There’s a feeling of secrecy and constant nattering, isn’t there? Are you aware that you have this going on for you as well? Yes – you potentially lie (secretly) to yourself every day. Statistics say that, on average, you speak almost 5000 words a day and almost 80% of this is self-talk. This translates to 4000 words!
And – wait for it – most of these are lies. Did you just gasp and feel insulted? What about words like: “I can’t do this…I’ll never be like him/her… I’m too stupid/fat/ugly… or No one will ever love or accept me”? Your 4000 words probably include a lot of judging, blaming and oh-so-many opinions on everything!
The good news is that this is nothing but your Ego talking. Ego nags you to compete and compare and even insists that you’ve failed. Your ego thoughts focus on things like winning; having to be right; making you feel scared & insecure and continually reminds you to be good and not “bad”.
Ego is terrified you may live through spirit because then you’ll have no need for it. It stands to reason that if you’ve believed in these lies (ego talk) for so long, and there’s a risk that you’ll replace it with the truth – it will hold on for dear life.
Ego will cling and argue with you. Its existence is being threatened after all. If you want to start living from the soul – Fred Allan Wolf suggests you “be in the mystery, not the know.” This means “We must empty ourselves of our assumptions and fixations… to let in the secrets the universe is trying to share with us.”
Admittedly, this was especially hard for me. I was a financial manager for more than a decade. This involved meeting deadline upon deadline and target upon target. Success was measured on performance. I therefore also spent many hours mentoring, coaching and motivating my staff to meet their individual (and group) deadlines and targets as this was a reflection of me.
Accountants don’t survive (never mind get ahead) without planning, systemising and organising. Let alone the reporting, scheduling and analysing. Admittedly I broke away from this once to use my huge whiteboard outside my office to create a count-down to the Robbie Williams concert!
William Whitecloud suggests “We tame the ego by softening our focus for survival. We allow ourselves to dream, to be open to ideas, images and intuitions that do not fit comfortably into our rational sense of order. This might include a vision of a life far removed from where we are now, full of all the things we wished we had…”
Now imagine someone like me learning to lose this “rational sense of order” and tame the ego, change her life and career! I still use my strong planning and organisational skills today – but they’re no longer holding the reins of my life. You may also feel stuck in the need for control because, like me, you were probably also taught that you are what you do and accomplish in life. Or even what you acquire.
And worst of all – you begin to believe you are what others think of you. This usually starts in childhood and forms your foundation of who you are. Your ego’s continual inner nattering (lies/beliefs) reinforce this. This means your inner spirit voice is pushed further into the background. But living from spirit and not from ego allows you to change these limited thoughts. You can move beyond your self-imposed boundaries into a sense of creative knowing.
(I moved from a world of figures and deadlines into a world of Art workshops and writing!) Without ego you can live in truth and speak only truth. You can live in love without any fear, guilt and shame. You can stop judging yourself and others. You’ll no longer feel “not good enough” and think of others the same way.
Ego causes separation. And from separation comes the all-too-familiar feelings of fear, judgment and inadequacy.
Ego hides your inner greatness from you. Dr Wayne Dyer asks you the following question, “Ego is just an illusion – so ask yourself if you wish to continue to be controlled by something that isn’t true, or would you rather look into what’s real and never changes? In order to do this you’ll need to become aware of your self-talk. Listen our for your beliefs and interpret them as lies.
What do you believe you cannot be, do or have? It’s important to find the source of that lie. Yes – it’s a lie. Where did it originate from and does it still serve you? If it doesn’t serve you at a soul level, get rid of it (roots and all). You have the choice.
Now create a new garden with new flowers (beliefs). Plant flowers with deep roots of positive, self-empowering beliefs. Your soul knows the truth, your ego follows the lie. Replace your 4000 words with 4000 flowers. But – as with all gardens, to bloom takes time, patience, love, endless gentleness and care.
But why not start today?
The garden of the world has no limits except in your mind.
Its presence is more beautiful than the stars, with more clarity than the polished mirror of your heart
I’d be happy to help you start planting yours.
Call me for a free consultation today.